Behind Dale Carnegie’s Six Principles on How To Win Friends and Influence People

Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People" is a timeless reference on how to navigate critical relationships.

How do you develop and maintain important relationships?

Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People may perhaps be one of the most noteworthy books during the 20th century.

Why? Because it gives answers to what people most desire in this world- limiting the number of enemies while winning points of influence and companionship among others.

About the How to Win Friends and Influence People 

Although it was published in 1936 — the depths of the Great Depression — Carnegie’s work will never become outdated.

It has changed the lives of people yearning for business success to improvement in their personal lives.

And throughout the book, he progressively covers six principles, the meat of the book that will provide your life with true value when it comes to getting what you want.

Principle #1: Don’t criticize.

Or in Carnegie’s terms, “Do not criticize, condemn, or complain.”

Criticism is inefficacious; in fact, the only task it manages to complete is wounding an individual’s pride, importance, and worst of all, it raises resentment towards the criticizer.

The same goes for condemning and complaining.

We, along with others, are people of emotion. Even if you wish to befriend someone who you do not wish to criticize, the criticism, condemnation, or complaint they hear you say will always make you less favorable to be around.

Principle #2: Say thank you.

It’s simple.

Be appreciative, give thanks, smile — there is no other way around it.

When you show someone that you are grateful for their efforts, they are more willing to do it again.

Principle #3: “Hi, [Name].” 

Admit it, you appreciate it when people say your name.

If the person to you is still one you’re getting to know, it shows that they remember it too.

So…use people’s names.

By doing this, people feel more connected to you and you to them.

Utilize an individual’s name when greeting them, when conversing with them, and when giving your goodbyes.

Principle #4: Use both ears. 

Listen! Listen! Listen!

This does not mean sending emails, muttering an “uh-huh”, and occasionally looking up while the other talks.

Use both ears and show that you are interested in what they are saying (or maybe just be interested).

Ask them follow up questions, look at them, and be present.

Principle #5: Talk about golf.

Ever meet someone interested in golf? I assume so.

Talk about golf. In other words, “talk in the terms of their interests.”

If your boss, client, or colleague has an interest, focus on those interests and what they are passionate about.

This will make them feel that they have an ally.

Principle #6: Praise.

Make them feel important.

Appreciate their thoughts, feelings, and accomplishments.

Make them feel valued and respected.

Now, you are strapped with 6 principles that will help you foster important relationships.

These six principles are based on the idea that people are more likely to be persuaded by someone who they like and respect. By following these principles, you can build stronger, longer-lasting relationships.